Recently, I worked with a client who had been judging himself relentlessly. These other healers he knows can see inside other people’s bodies, can see dead people, etc. He wants that and has been beating himself up for not having it. The first thing I asked him was “Are you willing to stop judging you?”

I shared with him some examples of what gifts and capacities look like. My dad, for instance, can fix anything! He’s an electrician by trade. When I was growing up he would fix cars, appliances, anything around the house that was broken. He knows what to do, he just knows.

So I went into adulthood thinking that is just what men do – they fix things. Then I married my husband, who doesn’t fix things. Our washer went out recently. Because of my dad’s example I knew that finding the part and replacing it was super easy. With a little help from YouTube we fixed it ourselves. My hubby, on the other hand, is one of the strongest and most courageous men I know. In his prime he could bench press 450 lbs, now he can bench about 300-350 lbs. That’s still a lot! He saves people for a living. Running into a burning building to find another person doesn’t faze him. He just does it. He’s a protector and doesn’t let fear stop him.

A capacity that I have is my ability to cook intuitively. I can make a recipe and experiment with it to make it better. I might add more garlic, or some cumin, or take something out. I just know what to do. Once upon a time I thought everyone cooked from scratch. I remember the first time a friend told me she used a cake mix. I was like “what? You don’t make your own cake?” I thought everyone cooked like I do because it’s so easy for me.

My point in sharing these stories was to get my client to see that we all have capacities and gifts, although they may look vastly different when we compare ourselves to others. He began to acknowledge his gifts and capacities and told me about them. And I said “you just know how to do these things. You are brilliant at them and make them look easy.” I also told him that I am aware of his healing capacities. He is a healer too. He wouldn’t have the wife or children he has (I know the family a little) if he weren’t a healer. He lit up. The energy of who he IS, is naturally healing, he doesn’t even have to try. But he hasn’t been willing to let that in because he’s been judging himself for what he doesn’t have.

judgy old man

The challenge is, when we judge the crap out of ourselves for not being like someone else, we are denying the gifts we DO have. When you stop judging yourself, you can receive ALL of you.

Would you be willing to stop judging yourself?

Would you be willing to stop making yourself wrong?

Would you be willing to receive all of you?

What else is possible here?

What are you not acknowledging?

That if you did acknowledge, it would change everything?


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